WANNA GREET IN ADVANCE TO MY DEARLY BELOVED SISTERS

FROM ANOTHA MOTHER!

You know that i love you guys from the bottom pit of my heart (miah you're one of them..)

i speak BLESSINGS to you my dear bestfriends!

...in every aspect of your life.

i pray that God will use you guys more mightily in His Kingdom.

More fresh and blessed anointing to you both.

Do not waste thy life with non sense things but rather waste it by giving God the most Glorious offer that He deserves.

Please do spend thy moments gold-ly.

Don't haste to much, cherish every moment.

THERE IS ALWAYS A TIME FOR EVERYTHING.

take it slow.

but remember, do everything for the Lord while you're young.

that is the message of the Lord.

the world has nothing to offer to you but destruction.

been there.

LOVES YA'LL.

and oh please DISLIKE lady gaga. :]

Yo wasssaaaappp me aliens! :D

'i've got a goood news, oooooh-ooooooohhhhh,

that this post is gonna be a goood one,

that this post is gonna be a good goooddd oneeeeee!'

XD

'it's a good good day in a good good world..'- Maya Tan slash my sis.

MY FREAKING D-90 NIKON.

thanks Dad for sponsoring.

and thanks Lord for the HUGE HUGE HUGE BLESSING :]]

watching THE PROPOSAL!!
XD inlove naman ako :]]]

'Hand Ass off, Ass off!!'
-Sandra Bullock.

hearts :]
it's so obvious. sigh.
'refrain thy innermost wonders leiz, it's not safe.'

Guess what i'm merely excited to go back in Bacolod. I don't know if it's for real. :\ i wonder i ponder am i really feeling what i'm feeling :\ HAHA. i'm seriously joking. i feel half of what i'm feeling. i'm half excited, i'm half excited? Gah. i'm losing it.

Anyway Skillet is making me inlove :] seriously.
Hehe.

Hmm the songs of Skillet makes me feel like this- losing it. Ha. Don't mind me really. I seriously am missing my calling. I miss being with the Lord. I miss dwelling with the Lord. In my shoe at this very moment, i don't see God at all. :[ but i could feel him. Sometimes i wonder, why why? I'm not questioning the Lord. Feeling so thankful that out of my family, i was chosen to lead the light but somewhat i'm not doing anything. I tried to be the 'salt and light' but unfortunately nothing has happened. I've noticed that my post here in Blogger are mostly my saddest part of my life. The rough times i've been through but guess what? God help me overcome them. God is still with me.

i don't want to dissappoint the Lord anymore. I had enough of it. The time is near.

The missing piece of my peace.

i'm deleting files in my laptop.
i defo can't stand to watch my files flying off to the trash bin.
it seriously leaves me no choice.
gah.

WILL BE FIXING MY LAPTOP! :D :D :D :D
oh and exciting news is coming up.
oh em gee.

i just remembered the time that i had with Photoshop.
ayy.
Fired up in doing designs for the Youth League.
:]]

we chatted up ;]

..and i've got a feeeeeeeeeeeeeeling.

i spot him right there :]

December 19, it seems like it was yesterday huh? Days are really going fast this past few days and can you believe it? It's already December 26. Near to New Year. Gah i wonder how it feels like to be celebrating New Year in Brunei. Anyway why am i even mentioning days here. Oh, i guess i'm excited to go back to Bacolod.

i'm actually excited in shifting to places, i think i should explore the world some day noh? I think that's what i'm good at, bringing along my camera, my sketchie, my binoculars, my roadmap, my compass and everything. Ha. I should continue dreaming :] *Oh! I had a great dream last night :] 'I will really never let you go..' was riding on horse, well actually was looking at a picture of two person on a horse. Funny? Yeah, i think i dreamnt of it once? Oh-em-gee ang tagal ng panahon.

I just wanna stay on the beach. SUNBURN. Speaking of sunbrun, i'm really really as-in super diduper DARK. I do not know what happened but so it happens i freaking turned dark in the Philippines. It's so obvious from the shade gap between me and my sister. Sweetniblets! THIS SUPER FREAKS ME OUT. hindi kasi ako sanay na maitim ako. Pfft.

anyways,
i'm craving for the beach [not because of swimming]
and SUNSETS!!
camon people i need adventure here in Brunei Darussalam!
anyone?

i'm freaking tired and annoyed.

Merry Christmas :]


to you dear.. :[

ohmegge it's Christmas Eve. :]

yes, the Philippines.
done in PhotoScape.
[i get confused with Skycape. Ha.]
credits to miah.
she recommended me this.
hearts.

Geeez. On the way to either Aikk's Crib or Skf venue, we were informed that there isn't Wednesday Service today. Good thing mom decided to call tita Rowena. So instead of heading back straight, mom and dad dropped me and miah to Aikks house. We just came back from her crib. We chatted and it was a long one :] we missed each other except i wasn't on the track cos i was half-asleep HAHA. Sorry aikks, my battery died when it strucked 12.

i'll bring back my hyperness oh yeah. We got a lot of chatting to do :] serious and the kids one.
Be heading to bed na.
Tomorrow, Gaydong as they said. 1pm with the kids.

Baby-Sittting. :]

Oh-em-gee right now we're heading to Aikks house to go bible study! Yay. Spiritual time. :]] Frankly speaking, i'm actually in a verge of my life. I'm starting to think again. My head is now a pond of wonders, i know that God is reading through my mind. I'm sure he is taking care of it. I'm quite worrried but i shouldn't be. I just remembered what he said. 'Let tomorrow worry about itself.'- somewhere in the Bible. Sigh. I trust the Lord.

will update soon :] gotta change na. ZOOM.

I've got 89 percent on my publishing :] i couldn't decide what song to put on the first home made video i made :\ idk if it's whether home made or what. I just feel like video-ing. Making a moment of marcus :] i did two videos. Part one and part two, the part two needs the last touch which is soundtrack.

5:45pm- Yes i'm done with the Video one :] Wohoooooo. Now i'm heading with video two. Hope there's no birds flying around to lay their nest. Wootwoe.

gotta go. Update up.
Sheeesh i'm hungry and i didn't know it's wednesday! :D

oh i forgot to mention :] i've got some great news.

'Little Duckie and Parrot is having their break.

Both of them flew to another land of home

where they'd spent their Christmas with their love ones.'

they aren't available now.

But this isn't the news i'm bringing. It's much more than that and i'm freaking way way way way excited to spill the beans confidentially. Gah January 05 is really long :\ GAH STOP ME FROM SCREAMING! Aynako excited naako :D

Dear the time has come, your waiting shall stop any sooner.

i'm giving you the assurance that you'll have me for keeps.

:]

<3

Phew. I just had my stroll around Gadong,well half of Gadong. Seriously no offence, the place is a zombie! -_- it's super 'dead silence' there's not much people around, not much jollyniblets. I could seriously smell death upon the horizon of NBD. What do you think leiz, NBD doesn't celebrate Christmas. Whats the difference between Chinese New Year and Christmas? Hmm probably there isn't much filipino anymore? @_@ hay, i remember this isn't the Philippines.

As the days to come here in our community, i hope it would turn out the same like before when we were 7 years old :] Our little village would have the time of our life, ringing of bells , begging for cash, being a pig for days, cheer cheer cheer and laughters. PARTY EVERYWHERE. Gah, it's really taking a long time for the 24th and the 25th.

Anyway time can wait. But frankly speaking, this place is dead :\

i still couldn't find my daily bread -_- sweetniblets.

Lord let me not stray away from you, i know my spirit is grieving.

An hour ago i just finally finished cleaning the room-the upstair room :] it's really a wonder. Have they been cleaning the room? Oh-em-gee if you could see the corner of every room here, you'd freak out; Mountains of dust and soldiers of ants are everywhere. Pfft.

It's fun that everything is properly placed :] threw some of the unused stuff. Lots of garbage man, lots and lots and lots. The living room isn't done yet maybe next day or probably at the week end :\ Hopefully could get out of the house and stroll around brunei with me mates. X] eeeek.

This is like the second day of brunei and i haven't got any wonderful shots yet. :\ i'm really excited on the days to come. Gah, been watching new-release movies; princesses mostly. HAHA. And the saddest thing right now is that my Daily Bread is missing. Huu.

will be updating :]

Forgot to mention that i arrived home at 2 a.m. Ain't that sweet? Atleast i had a wonderful flight with Ricx and our Childhoodies :] Gases of Laughs were all over the international airport. Formality was required but we broke the rules eyh :]

this is the start of our vacation. Day one gone done.
January 05 will be my dismissed.

Oh-em-gee :D this is so gonna be 'Remember December'. Aha.

oh-em-gee. one night mare. one night na.

Funny thing happened,when we sat down by the sea of swirls at 9pm. We saw this officer with a shotgun walking drunk. Dang it for a moment there, we thought he was leaving away but then he shot the freaking gun on air! We both were startled and terrified! Both of us could have almost peed our pants! We suddenly prayed and did some tongues. Yes.

We hid behind the freaking post,dodging so we won't be hit by him. You could imagine seriously. We thought our life would end at that very moment. [imagine two person hiding themselves from getting killed.] After seeing the coast was clear, we freaking hurriedly walked away. Walking with speed. Imagine? So we told the guard standing that there was a gunfire,guess what his reaction was? NIL NONE NOTHING!

Surprisingly the man with the gun wasn't at all drunk. He was perfectly fine and they both were talking, NORMALLY. We were fooled.

The most dumb-est, most stupidest, most unforgettable scenario inserted in our life! I wanted to curse at that very moment, cuss about what happened, stab a banana in his freaking eyes! I was infuriated. (*!(#*&#(*%&%(*#&%#(*%&@($*&!(*!&@W(*

'It started with a sweet introduction
but ended with a sudden shotgun.'

We promised ourselves never ever never-ever-ever go back to the sea of swirls again. NEVER.

Goodnight.
2 days more mamitas.

Gah i've got no time to update.
Especially the countdown!
GAH!
5 DAYS MORE 5 DAYS MORE!!
*picture missing*

'We wait upon the Lord.' 7 Days left mamitassss!
:]

i'm sick.
will be updating soon :]

A cake i received :] surprisingly.
with a huge big red ribbon.
i fell in love.

I'm officially nineteen and there were fireworks at Sm as i looked from afar :]
i mentioned that last night.
Spent the night near the sea.

:3

8 days left.
*missing picture*

Most likely 9 days till departure.
*picture missing*

Yes, in 2 hours time, the clock would strike twelve and i will be striking my age.
Nineteen.
I'm one freaking Nineteen year old in 2 hours.
FREAKING NINETEEN.
which means i'm getting way old. I could feel the pressure, my blood pressure seems to be rising up rapidly, my vision is in a blur, i could feel green butterflies at the pit of my stomach, i could see the top of the world, i'm losing it, i'm losing it!
Sweetniblets, this is one heck of a birthday-symptom :\

i've noticed something and dang i'm screwed.
i've noticed something and dang it's near.
i've noticed something and dang it's a new beginning.
i've noticed something and dang i'm growing some eyebags.
i've noticed something and dang just dang.
:]

11 Days mamitos and mamitas :]

watched 500 days of summer. It was a heck love.
the story is amazing.
the guy was very familiarly cute,someone i know.
girl was gorgeous but i hate her.
:]

12 days 12 DAYSSSSSSS!!
Oh man oh man,it's almost near!
ayaiyaiyaiyaiiii!
Yellow Atmosphere :]

CONTINUATION OF COUNTDOWN!
OH-EM-GEEEEEEEE.
13 FREAKING DAYS!!
i'm freaking out what to pack,dang!

16 Days left. OH-EM-GEEEE!
me waiting,still waiting..
had several calls from ricx and dang it got me more excited!

'It's better to live a life of no regrets,
so step up and take a risk..
there's no harm in trying,
now jump.'
December 02,2009
scroll down.

omg. it's almost twelve. i need a picture for today's post of
17 FREAKING DAYS LEFT.
um..i'm still searchinggggg.

'Prince, i wait for thee.'
18 FREAKING DAYS LEFT!
ang tagal pre.

I don't want to argue further kasi i might sin against God.
sometimes you do not know that you are the MOST irritating person living here on earth!
shut up for a change!
respect nmn ung tao on what she's doing,she's not a robot that could function
ten times than a human.
oh-my-galy-gulay!
SPARE ME LORD FOR MY SINS!

i did something for ripples. Sigh. Atleast i did. ^_^

i've done nothing for ripples. :\ screw this.

MY LOAD JUST FREAKING EXPIRED AGAIN!!
DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT!!!
I JUST LOAD IN 15 PESOS SO I COULD USE MY UNLIMITED
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
IT GOT WASTED WHEN I TRIED CALLING!
SWEEEETNIBLETSSSSSSS!!!!!!
sigh. may bukas pa.

Had a SUCCESSFUL Jrev, although we didn't expected that kind of crowd. It was so much better the last time cos we were freaking many. But the flow was amazing especially when Prophet Ellaine came and exhorted about God's plan and she lay hands on us. She is like the amazing person ever,jolly-ish type of lady :] God bless her.

I wanna share some things here regarding what she prayed about me. She was indeed for real speaking what is really wrong with me.

Her prayer.

'Satan has taken away your joy. God knows what happened to you in the past,what you've suffered, the pain, the hurts. He wants you to lay it down to him,just give it all to him. Also how you feel intimidated. Give it all to him...'

the rest i don't remember but that was what really stroked my heart. I was emotionally in distress. It is true that my joy in me has faded away and simply vanished due to God knows what reason. For some time i felt unsatisfied,i felt like i'm missing something. This joy that she mentioned could be in any way. It is true every aspects of it, my joy was taken away. The joy in my personal life, the joy with my friends, with course, with my family, my house and my service to the Lord. They noticed that i'm not that joyful, sadness was filing up my entire being :\ But now God has revealed me what was my lack after all those runnings around i had just for answers.

I couldn't held my tears.
Gah. But i'm fine now :] i juest need time alone with the Lord. especially when i over heard the prayers she prayed for dear. wow.

no longer further this.

I'll try to get back the Lysley, Jesus would lead the way.

She said 'wait for me,i'll be right down with you..
i just need to concentrate though..
down down here i gooooooooooo...'
19 FREAKING DAYS TO GO!!
sweetnicks.
(btw these shots that i've posted are old shots,i couldn't
take shots at the moment.. :\ well this are never
before seen shots and i'm pretty amazed though how'd it came out..
Praise God.)

i seriously disappointed God. sigh.

She said 'i'll have what you guys have sooner..
i'll just take my time enjoying swinging,at least i feel the love here..
La-la-la-la..'
20 DAYS MORE BUCKOS!
i skipped a day sorry or was it the time.. :\

Tomorrow will be the first time not attending the service due to school requirements,i'm so against my principles right now. I ask for forgiveness. Babawi ako Lord. Gah. This better be good,oh well it's 'The Gospel of John' in a cinema. yes a CINEMA. Bummer. Sweet Bummer.

The Leaves fall and fades as we wait.for
22 days man 22 days more!!
In the Philippines,we get rainy-cold weather slash winter cold-ish type.
yada yada i'm excited...
Help me out here,i just got well awhile ago.
this morning i woke up not feeling that well but Glory to God :]

Remember what i told you about the weird awakening,oh em geee, that moment was unbearable. It's like out of the blue your hyperness came alive from all those years. @_@ i never even recognize the human. :\ i guess 'nanibago lng ako'. I might be used on seeing the person half serious and half crazy joke and sweet. But this was all hyper around-like me and Mariz. None stop laughing and making silly non sense joke. You know.. but i adore that person doing it for me.

Maybe that person really wants to see me smile. Does he not know? Everytime i look right through those eyes,it made my heart smile. Especially the game of 'you look then look back' :] Being right next beside me creates a big huge smile in me. :]

I think probably i was always the one making an individual smile. It was unusual for me but i'll catch up :] Sana english nmn. Ha.

-Sitting on the grass,making some noise in a supposed to be Silent arena. LOL.

23 FREAKING DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSS..
ohmygooooossseeee why is time so slow when you wait!
*starts counting all over again..*

Cemetery Sunset in the other side of the world.
November 27/11/2009.

It was an amazing venue to chill but come to think of it,
chill in a cemetery,hmm but it was all worth it.
If you guys could see how beautiful it was,
you'd feel the same way what i felt.
Although something wasn't really going well that moment,
an weird awakening.
Ha.
Star gazing and a overnight would be possible
if you'd give less attention to the dead people
under 6 feet ground .
i think that could do the trick.
:]

My heart beats ten times faster than the normal speed.
You know i'm telling a lie from behind.
just see right through me.
:'[

A life of a swing is to bring joy in that person's heart as it waits for that person to sit on them and swing around happily.

24 Days left guyyyyyyyysss!
MAKE ME HAPPY PLEASEEEEEE!!
there's no time for me to be freakishly sad.
LALALALALALA.
God's Love :3

Good evening folks :]

I know you'll ask whats up with me right now that made me think to write in paragraphs. Honestly awhile ago i wasn't really feeling myself. Lets say my whole soul spirit mind just broke down. That gave me that 'silent treatment'.

I'm this type of jolly hyper noisy annoying girl you'll ever know but when you catch me looking far away,thinking so deeply,silent without a noise that would only mean one thing; I'M THINKING.

'I'm thinking something that is yet for me to think..'

It seriously hit me silent hill. -_- i could feel the aura around me just instantly change without a pre-warning. As i continue to walk alone back to my house. Questions suddenly came out of my tongue, 'Am i even human?' 'What is really wrong with me?' i don't really know already myself now,the last thing i added. I backed down.

He even wonders.

I concluded this was the effect of the awhile ago when i was at Garahe. I think thats partially the reason why. I just covered it up to my parents that i miss them so much. I broke down in tears when i chatted with them. I got emotionally strucked down, i felt like my bones grinded into dust. My whole vision went totally blanked. He was actually playing around with me which i thought he was in deep serious. Sino hindi masasaktan un? Eh muka syang galet pero binibiro nya lng ako? @_@ At the edge of that joke,i was about to burst but then i spoke my heart to him.

It was a joke. Thats the freaking problem! I'm already confused with myself,i still have to be confuse with others. I can't even distinguish now if he is joking or serious with me. I don't get people nowadays. I JUST DON'T FREAKING UNDERSTAND!!! ERGH! I'M SO FED UP RIGHT NOW!!! may problema nga ung tao sa otak,you still have to make them worse!

ignore me i'm just irritated and sad.

I do not want to further more.
I'll keep most of them to myself cos this is really what i'm good at.
Not open with my feelings.
I just hope you'll understand me..

My reaction just came at the right time...

[Late Entry]
24 Days More!
wanna know why this shot?
it takes time to take this bouncing lights,
this won't turn this way unless you got it right by clicking and shaking.

The things i hate about WARKAS:

1. Freaking starry mysterious eyes which makes me go insane.
2. Extreme concerns and anxieties for a particular human.
3. Girlie fingers which makes me less a woman.
4. Monstrous look - the worst ever.
5. HIS FREAKING EYES.
6. Gentle touch. Pfft.
7. His warm and tight embrace.
8. Tickles when he is bored.
9. Loves to runs his fingers around.
10. Pinches the jellywobble as he rest his eyes.
11. Sleeps/resting his eyes when i'm awake.
12. Smiles when i make a fool out of myself.
13. Grabs me harshly-sweet when he thinks i got offended by his joke.
14. Jokes me around especially when the 'size' subject is up.
15. Horse me around with the off limits. EVERY TIME.
16. Pushes me away from the side roads.
17. Bites my meat off.
18. Ignores me when there's something going on.
19. Expressing his opposite feelings. He shows his mad face even though he isn't mad.
20. Serious.
21. Swore when he gets mad.
22. Can't refrain himself from doing unnecessary things.
23. Inflamed when i neglect my importance.
24. Instead of riding, walked from the beginning to the stop.
25. Takes my bag without letting me know that he'd carry it.
26. Hates my friend.
27. Dino's hair.
28. Long lashes.
29. Pops when you poke him.
30. Takes my oxygen away.
31. Makes sure that i'm wrapped by a jacket of meat. -_-
32. Mr.Check List.
33. PEES ALOT.
34. Fixes my fringe when it's a mess.
35. Pokes my dimple.
36. Notices excess hair above my mouth.
37. Pinches my nose.
38. Takes my glasses away.
39. Shows no mercy by attacking me physically friendly. Ha.
40. Insists that he'd pay the fare.
41. Prefers to be the first to cross the zebra crossing. Manol.
42. Cooks food that i dislike.
43. Water-freak like me. Gaya2x.
44. Leaving me. :[
45. Sexy Lips :3
46. Destroys my brain capability.
47. Disrupt my dictionary.
48. Influenced illongo traditions.
49. Plays songs that i dislike.
50. Strum the guitar; Reminisce.
51. Gives tingles.
52. Pigs of Chocolates.
53. GREEN.
54. Partially dislike what i like.
55. Loves this particular person for who she is. :[
56. Hold her tight even though it hurts to my stummach.
57. Creates butterflies in me. <3
58. He would not let that particular person go.
59. He is obsessed with this particular person. [in short.]
60. Stares at my hand for a period of time.
61. Never blink.
62. Stayes awake just to tell me about this chiq he knew.
63. Watches my every move.
64. Thinks i'm wonder woman.
65. I'm his bestfriend.
66. Sees that i'm such an imaginative out-of-the-world context person.
67. Freakishly thin.
68. Smiles when i smile.
69. He made me love him. :3
70. He never pays attention to me when i speak.
71. 'You' is on his mind every minute second hours days week months years decades.
72. He made me the opposite.
73. He fills my message inbox to thousands.
73. Takes the chance of using immortal unlimited call from a friend. Tsk.

to be continued..

25 freaking days left!
gotta prepare guys gotta prepare.
ang tagal :\

Hearts.

Shirt Printed Number Four
:]
[my camera is back.]

26 Days left.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!
Wanna hear me scream?

All the waiting shots are from googles. I'm planning to make it different right now. :]] i've got a freaking idea. From now on this 28 days i'd be shooting shots of 'waiting' yes. I'd do that. But first i need to get my freaking camera from Tenshi. Ha.

Wish me luck. I came up with this idea due to my excitement of reuniting once more with my freaking love ones. <3

Freaking 27 Days left :]]
i'm freaking excited.
God please refrain me.

I was most likely complaining :]
due to the empty messages i'm receiving.
until one message came..
a moment of concernment thats all what i was dreaming of.
God made me smile.

I have posted yesterday regarding what happened to me during Prayer Meeting. Now i have told him and he is acting weird again but with a smiley face. I'm finding it really awkward. I was expecting that he'd turned blue. I'm still texting him though. I'm partially going crazy but i'm good.

In my heart right now is 'Lord kahit masakit,even it's killing me right in,i'm just doing it for you. Obeying what you have told me..'

Okay i think we're good, we're discussing our routines and stuff, finalizing to avoid the freaking deceptive schemes of our enemy. So it's gonna be a new aura for us. But this is for the Lord.

I pretty understand now.
♥ It's not a joke when God called you.
♥ God trusts you thats why He called you.
♥ It's not a joke to be in the WLT. Preserving is needed. Purity and Holiness.
♥ The enemies are after us. Awareness.
♥ There's a spiritual battle in the Spiritual Realm.
♥ Sacrifice- It pays to wait.
♥ Understanding God's will.

During my days in the wicked, i admitted i couldn't stand to be in it. So the Lord took me away and told me, actually convicted me. All the things i've been doing wasn't pleasing to him. So what i did was repented.

I was more like of David in the Bible. Don't judge right now. You don't know the story yet.

We both have decided and we agreed to it. I knew it, he was convicted as well ^_^
Credits to the Lord. Love you so much.

28 Days to go :]
countdown.

29 days to go.
I'M UBER NERXCITED.
:]
refrain me. please.

:]

Seriously,i'm sorta-ish-kinda happy. Sorta O_o

HAHA.

For some reasons i would like to avoid being intact. By next week my dear you won't be seeing me. Probably for a moment but not the usual. I felt like i was dragged away from the real world although everything was so real but then i think i had to much reality. I gotta get my focus on the line.

I need a break. I need that Hot Fudge Choco in Mister Donut. NOW.
tsk tsk. Seriously i need a time out.

Could i just close my eyes and forget about everything? o_o Lord,i'm sad and i need you.

365 Days thats what he said.

calculated the days i started imagining Little Duckie and Parrot. :]

You'd realize that you'd already miss that person dearly,when you wait.
:3

Gosh,it's been a week since i last updated here. The last thing i posted was how much i spent for the retreat :] and yeah it went successfully. Please do check KKB'S multiply for more graphic data. HAHA.

It was one heck of a fun experience although when i came back i suffered from sniffles and coughs. Plus a long rebuked sermon from my aunt :\ although it's been a week na,i still could feel the heaviness and tiredness in me. I still haven't got my perfect rest yet :[

So i'm biding farewell for a moment,will be updating soon :]

got some news but it's a secret.
<3

Konichiwa,i just did some shopping 2 hours ago at Lopues for this 3-day retreat we'll be having this monday. :] And guess what,out of surprise,the one i purchased reached to 407.75 pesos!

i am not happy about it,i'm super disappointed! I get easily tempted with food. Freakazoid! I bought alot of chips but they just cost like 10 pesos above. Probably my cosmetic uses. Thats why i hate being a girl,you gotta look good always. Sheeesh!

now i've got like 400 plus left then minus the 150. OMG 250 pesos! SWEESHNICKSSS! I'm super broke!

Lord,pitik me please if i'm spending uneccessary stuff. Oh my galy na may gulay.

oh i remember.
♥ Get my laptop fixed!
[stop the blue screen]
[ stop lags ]
[ get my wallpaper system working ]
[ photoshop has been in vacation for like a decades.]

Things to be done sooner or later:
♥ REMEMBER GOD'S PURPOSE!
♥ Cut my finer nails and toe nails.
[finger nails done!]
♥ List down needed for Encounter. Personal stuff.
♥ Pack as soon as possible.
[check list needs to be done after packing!]
♥ After encounter,stay at home!
[to regain skin tone!]
♥ SLEEP EARLYYYYYYYYYY!!!
[no late up mood!]
♥ TAKE CARE OF FACEEEE!
[PIMPLE ALERT!]
♥ SAVE MONEYYY!!
[ buy school shoes]
[ new skimmer shoes ]
[ buy new bag ]
[ buy new sandals ]
[ new shirts ]
[ perfume ]
♥ STOP EATINGGG!!
[ remember you look like an elephant! ]
♥ Take 1x1 picture!
[ for driving lesson.]
♥ ORGANIZE MY BELONGINGS!
[ my works and materials are everywhere! ]
♥ GET LICENSE TO DRIVE!
[be serious.]
♥ Get everything done as soon as possible.
[avoid pressure.]
♥ MEMORIZE BOOKS OF THE BIBLE!
♥ TRY THE ICE COFFEE IN DUNKIN DONUTSSSSS!!!
♥ DO THE TASK REGARDING BANGON COORDINATORS!!!


don't forget to think. ;]
whatever i've forgotten to list down,
then that would be it.
this is what i could remember.
Ha.

NERXCITED ABOUT THIS!
[nervous plus excited]
:]

Funny thing,i just ate this bit by bit after procrastinating myself to open the packet. I felt a little weird because i've been desiring to eat the 2 packs of choco biscuits in a week as a midnight snack but eventually all i did was staring at them endlessly.
Pfft,talk about wasting time.
i could listen them calling,
'LEIZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! EAT ME!!'

seriously,i'm encountering weird problems.




few hours passed,i finally ate them.
crumbs by crumbs.
ohmygosh the agony.

The Top that i wanted. UK ofcourse.
Took it yesterday,was supposed to post it in Facebook but nah,
my post here is half empty :\
gotta put something up before heading to bed.

trying to cheer up my face by highlighting the color of the butterfly.
:[ that butterfly.

i gave the letter,i was relieved. But i feel really awkward-ashamed to look at the eyes of my dreams. aw. Deep down in me is really screaming,i'm feeling mellow right now. Gimme mellow songs and mellow foods.

Mellow-onchy.

Do you know what? I wrote a letter last night and i'm doubting whether i could let go of it. Would it be just a memory in the box? I'm still thinking about it though.

Crazy Monday.

4th day of Maskara Festival.
Colors are wonderful,everything looks so fairy like.
Ant Crowd.
Crazy exhaustion.
Air Pollution.
Increase of Crime rate and Death rate.
Drunken bellies.
Breakage of Symptoms (Health)
Loud Music.
Fireworks.
Rascal jeepneys.
Photographers everywhere.
Stampede (never happened but it might.)

i think thats it,i shall not further my comment :3

HOPE IT'LL END SOON!

I believe that what had happened was an effect
since i totally blocked out that today was eighteen and eleven came :]

when i think of it,i couldn't held back my tears.

thank you Lord.

Btw interesting fact :]

Parrot bought Little Duckie a Hair tie.

<3

This happened when Jo came,
we had our picnic in the FoodCourt of SM :]

i've got a new word from ria :]
Agitate
sweetniblets.

oh dang,it's been decades since i last updated. Sorry was a having a little hectic schedule,no wait lets say bigger than little :]

updates will be posted soon.

Btw i'm using facebook,multiply and period. Ha. Just check them out to see whats really happening at my atmosphere ;] aight.

my unpredictable lunch.

i get something when i don't plan getting it. :\

few minutes ago,i just newly know the reason.

Gah,peace in my mind,i finally transferred my thoughts in here :]

I told to myself when i was walking the dog,imma blog everything everything before doing my homeworks. Gotta put them in! At the same,mumbling and murmuring of what happened before i went home. :\ Pffft. I was irritated.

You know what? I was so happy and excited to tell about my experience but instead of having a feedback of being interested,i get a monotonous reaction! I was furiously inflamed. I didn't like it. Well forgive me for my late presence. Get home if you can't understand patience.

I told myself,i don't want the ol' lysley back. I am so MEAN that i could hurt your feelings and you'd hate me back as well. Thats how i ended up a slap on my face from my parents.

SHEEEEEEEESSSSSHH! X[

from now on,you'll get less attention from me. If thats what you want a monotonous conversation,then a monotonous you will get from me! x[

but you're lucky,i would try my best not to. :\ i hate you.

There must be Justice.
Ergh,kasabad saila.
Pfft.

Black Parade.

We were supposed to wear black for the Rally at West Negros University but thenwe,Ripples didn't even understand the word black is,so instead we wore our uniforms! x[ Dang it. Hey we got ourselves free black ribbons though. [btw Jan was prepared.]

I have here the fliers that was given to the people as we walked from Plasa to WNU. This rally we attended was a support for the School Publication of WNU- West Torch.

'Stop Student Journalist Repression'
'Uphold Campus Press Freedom'
'Justice for the Terminated Student Journalist of West Negros University!'

This all started with a blog and it crucially became that critical. It was a small mistake. Thats how life is in every individual,little thing means a big thing,small dot evolves. you get what i mean? It's foolish.

We gathered at the plaza at 4.30pm unfortunately we were little but the SP of UNO-R came at then end when we were at burgos heading to WNU. We stayed there and shouted in illongo which i didn't get it that much,it was 'IPAGLABAN' i think? And 'KAHULUYA!' i definitely understood that. So we ended up at 7pm and lighted black candles infront of the WNU gate,marched to the cementary literally,the cementary was just a few steps away and left after that. Lots of things happened,i didn't get much of it since i was taking the shots of every scenario. :]

However,i remembered that it was like a black parade only little. :\

And there was this woman who was taking a video with her handycam at her hand and was scolded by one of the Kabataan Partylist that it isn't allowed to take a video of the scene unless she is a Press or one of the School Publication. She even dared blaming me,Dorrissa[was that her name?] and Mariz from taking pictures of the event,she was ignorant and fought back. It was out of her conscious that we belong to the SP. She fled after that. The rallist were like 'take a shot of her..' 'who is she?' 'she's really suspicious' HAHA. Seriously,she has no right.

Plus,this another woman who was supporting the rally,i don't know if she's one of the parents of the student who got terminated or what? She started screaming at me about the Administration @_@ i was really paralyzed with fear. All i did was nodd. X] ya'll should see my face. HA!

OH AND THE PART WHERE THE DUDE FROM LA SALLE ASK MARIZ OF HER NUMBER FOR THE PHOTOS SHE WAS TAKING TO BE SEND AT VISAYAS DAILY STAR XD ay,she was 'ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~'

It was our first experienced event and i'll say it was all goooooood. One of our members complained so our Chief got frustrated and his mood swings came. We went out quietly.

La Sallian and Uno-R joined in especially the Kabataan Partylist and some parents :]

In my opinion: The Admin in that University is complete Foolish. What is really their reason why they shut them just like that? They have no right,it's not like they killed the school. Gah. I say complete FOOLISH! I wonder what'll they do after this? @_@ would they even take action? Sigh. Hope so.

Well,atleast we had the freedom of opposing their decision and do this.

btw pictures will be uploaded soon in multiply after the battery is charged up. :]]

Gah,pms.
at first i thought i was really losing it.
abnormality with my being.
seriously, i need an adventure...

btw,Little Duckie and Parrot is on a holiday :]
they'd be back soon.
transport: Air balloon.

Laughter i hear.
oh dangitt, she is back,well both of them.
HAHA.

she would not dare, tempted and she has failed.
dang, gotta be mean for a change!

'But but but his eyes are so beautiful and he just melted me away..right below my knees! Do you know how that felt? it was awesome.. he just caught me right in again..'

silence i read.

Is it just me or something else that is regards with me?

Sometimes i wonder,am i doing everything right? Even to my 'heartbeats'. As i continue to ponder it awhile ago, i wonder if my heartbeat beats the same still,has it lose it's beating? Or am i just too numb to notice that it's palpitating in extreme for me. Hmmm.

but seriously.

Does my heartbeat's doing it's function pretty well? Is it doing it's best job? I lack knowledge of it. Diagnose me.

because insecurity comes rushing in my vein. Blocking the joy i should be experiencing as i treasure my heartbeat dearly. i don't know why,but it starts to level up in me.

...i think i just have to listen deeply to it's beat so i could receive it's comfort.

Cloak me in peace as i rest tonight.

i am this close to kick his brains out,
even tho he's evolving himself the opposite of who he really is.

You Won't Relent

Chris Quilala &amp

You won’t relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I’ll set you as a seal, upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love, that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters, cannot quench this love

Chorus:
Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until you and I are one

I don’t wanna talk about you like you’re not in the room
I wanna look right at you, wanna sing right to you

<3

The number nine went on to 10 this very day.
September 18,2009.

Remembered when they were talking dates and number,
until eighteen hit me.

:]

<3

i'm singing lead this Sunday. oh my.
loving Jesus Culture's Album x]

Oh dang i accidentally hurt a bug,thought it was mosquito.
O_o

Parrot is ill.

went to his nest as he rest but went hyper,
when his friends came to visit.
Especially Little Duckie.
gave him a massage and comfort.

:]

the story goes on..

I just posted awhile ago in facebook;

'Leiz Tan is starting to think about things. Is this peer-pressure or is it that i'm far away from Heavan? It seems that i couldn't reach out. Hallucinating? i hope not. :'['

I wanna elaborate more on this. I just noticed in myself,that i suddenly get irritated easily. I suddenly get impatience in times,i feel like my controlling system is out of hand in terms of emotionally and expressions. Like i'm already too weak to hide my innermost reaction. Bugger.

or maybe God is trying to fix me at this aspect?

because seriously, i'm not handling it well. I felt like i'm at the pit of my death, giving up. It's like killing me softly inwardly. And i'm screaming the agony in mute. I really can't understand my feelings or even myself.

i'm not liking it.

Plus the fact that i am not called up to lead anymore? i just wonder. Like what Pastor said, 'Am i doing the right thing before the Lord?' 'Have i done my best?' 'Did i present myself rightly before Him?' 'is this really my calling?' -we need to ask the Lord about this.

I'm really concern of my attitude at the moment especially my character, i felt like i'm not the new leiz,i've become the ol'leiz again -_-'' i don't want it. Gah,this is seriously killing me.

.... it just hit me,probably i'm beginning to act strange and feels like nothing happened due to the missing of the KEYS,MY WALLET and MY PRESENCE OF MIND.

gah,i feel like giving up. Questions are running in my head.

but i still see the light leading my way. :'3

i need God so much.
i just want him to take me away.
seriously.

Those little characters are playing in my head like a musical show.
♥

Have you heard the news? It's been two days.

MY WALLETS GONE MISSING.

yes another usual scenario of my life,where everything gets off of my hand. Before this happened,the car keys went missing and i was the last person using it. Pfft. But seriously, i put it back to it's place..

i'm suffering from forgetfulness and the absence of my mind. This kind of disease,it's in my blood and i was born with it. sweetniblets.

so basically,i don't have a wallet anymore :[ it's been a year that penshoppe purse was with me.
There was a memorable thing in it,the 9th s.m of LittleDuckie&Parrot.

The saddest part here was that it went missing in the Church,which is shameful. God's church. How ironic is that eyh? Gah,i just put the Lord's name in shame. It's really impossible. It's my FAULT anyway,i was convicted to put my wallet back in my bag but i didn't eventually. I went 'nah,it'll be alright,no one's gonna get it anyway..' but dang there it goes.

This is a lesson alright. I should stay aware.
plus this happened to me a lot of time during high school.

i despise my being.
imma learn,i still could make it. :]
still got a chance to make it right. RIGHT.

here goes my parents again,
and again,
it's my fault.

'i lost the freaking key, i'm not responsible with the bills, i forget things,
my presence of mind disappeared..'

pressured is not a reason,yes perhaps but in reality,
i tend to NOT think when pressure hits me.

:[

'' I'm loving the rain... Lalalalalalalala!! ''
*whistle*

Where you go I go by Kim Walker/Jesus Culture.

Chorus
where you go I go
what you say I say, God
where you pray I pray
where you pray I pray
(repeat)

Verse
Jesus only did
what he saw you do
he would only say
what he heard you speak

he would only move
when he felt you lead
following your heart
following your spirit

how could I expect
to walk without you
when every move that Jesus made
was in surrender

I would not begin
to live without you
for you alone are worthy
and you are always good

you are always good
yeah...

you are always good
always good
always good
yeah, yeah yeah

Chorus

Bridge
though the world sees and soon forgets
we will not forget who you are and what you've done for us,
what you've done for us

Chorus

Bridge

Bridge 2
though the world sees and soon forgets
we will not forget, who you are,
who you are, who you are, yeah
who you are, oh you are my god, you are my god
you are my god, you are my god, you are my god
woah, yeah..

Chorus

Lets say,
it's a holiday :]
i've been at home for like a WEEK.
SEVEN DAYS PEOPLE!!!
not even going out of my area.
tendency: prefer to stay at home than going out.
prefer not to live my life like before.
HAHAHAHAHA.
IMMA STOP STUDYING :]]
seriously,seven days guys.

ERGH HE IS SO FREAKINGGG HOT FOR ME! I CAN'T FREAKING BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSTRILS FROM LOOKING AT HIS FREAKING SMILE AND EYES!!
GAH HE IS ADORABLE!!
STOP ME PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I THINK IMMA BURST!!!

IN ILLONGO:
KA GWAPO SA IYA!!!!!!
DAW MABUANG KO!!!!!
BULIGI NYO KO!!
PLEASEEEEE!!!

<3

Building up their guilt haha, nah it randomly came. :] i was just only kidding.

It's okay, just go,
leaving me here all alone,
i understand,you need to go..
i'll just sit in the room at the corner,
ALONE..
thinking, wondering, imagining,
creating my own creatures,
naming them by names that is not familiar,
like BIN?
no one to play with,
no one to make me laugh and act up like pokwang,
making that ridiculous walk,
doing that tremendous pose,
exaggerating every edge,
no one here but me,
not even an imaginary friend.
sigh.
It's okay,
i'll wait,
wait and wait,
till the darkness encapsulate me,
no lights,
not even a glimpse of sun rays to brighten me up,
silence i hear,
no one to call,
no hands to reach,
no one to switch on the freaking light for me..
sigh.
Just leave the lights on sister before you leave.
heart you.

To dearest Joahnna.

seriously my tummy is grumbling,is it a bad thing?
It's like there's a tidal wave in the pit of me stummach!
Oh man.

MY WACKY HAIR SUNDAY :]
got nothing to do.

Random Weirdest Things in Day Five:

. Was having a slight problem with my vision until i realized i WASN'T wearing my GLASSES. i feel good now.

. Dinner: Finished my Sopas Soup until i found a dead worm floating, so i threw my last chewing on my plate. :[

this would be the second time.

and Ryo is taking a break from his Religious life?
is he kidding?
WEIRD.

i know you know who you are :']

Where has this girl gone? :]

IT HURTS WHEN YOU FEEL COLD IN A HOT WEATHER.
sweetniblets,the agony really :\

i've got mumps guys.. :[[
will be soundtrippin' and drawing as a sign of my rest period.
this would make me happy.

As i was taking a bath a song came to my head:

'I'm singing you this song,this melody of praise,

i'm giving my all,that's what i have to say..(repeat)'

HAHA.

It just came completely our of my mouth.
0_0

Listening to them singing passionately,i felt like like their talking to God. Especially jomar,is that his name,or was it jomari? I'm confused. Anyway,as i was saying,it's really indescribable on how he expresses his feelings towards the instrument and the song he is singing. As in like you could feel him feeling the song,from his voice,the way he sings-a m a z i n g.

I'm uberly blessed in his life and the rest of the member. I could like smile all day just by looking at them playing. Seriously. And one thing strucked me.

What about our Youth Worship Leading Team? yes,i'm comparing.

It's not bad to compare,i'm justifying it anyway. I'm feeling the burden in me. I'm desring to have a team that is like them and Hillsong but still it's been how many months,
still the same o u t c o m e. I do believe me and Jo is feeling this way. It's been our burden for ages. As i observe and even compare the both of them,i could feel the inferiority dripping in my brain , draining through my vessels , circulating my whole body system. :\ i admit,they are much better than us. Even if they look at our church as the high standards of all but heck no. I am quite sure the other churches are better than us which is the saddest part. I'm not looking down at the talents of our team,their good really if only they have that eagerness, but i meant spiritually speaking.

Are they passionate in playing the instruments? Do they know their part why are they standing on stage? It's not the performances nor attention they should be giving but it's exactly for the Lord. By playing or singing, it's an expression of worship to God. I believe thats how the angels above worship the Lord, expressionism is in the air. They dance through strumming, they swing as they sing, they exaggerate their body movements to express that inner feeling or Worship to the Lord. I guess it's not time yet for we just only started having the Y.S.,plus it was been a long time since KKB was united,so I do elieve ONE DAY the,y would be encountering with God soon,knowing our greatest purpose in life and calling.

I'm having that faith,as time goes by and by,their heart will start burning for Jesus. They'll be what God wants them to be unless they're deaf to hear then there's no chance at all. Should wake them up by the trumpets.

Fragments of my mind. I ought to jot in down to let go of my burden :]
A simple thought,pretty simple.
I believe God can do everything.
I know he'll strengthen us in things to carry on. :]

i'm that optimistic in things like this.
<3
GOD BLESS OUR YOUTH WORSHIP LEADING TEAM.

Hallelujah!
:]

SUCCESS AND VICTORY over the EVENT!
God bless our beloved Nation and Bro.Eddie.
photos posted now in multiply.
come and check :]

When i remembered aiko,relief came to my heart.
i seriously miss her :[
can't wait to go back at my second home.
sweetniblets.

WOHOOOOOOOO!! TOMORROW TOMORROW!!
XD
excitement :]
20/08/2009

Declaration,the fire's burning.

woah,i ought to make 2 entries :]
one for the KKB blog and Ripples.
this is a privilege.
WOOH. Guide me Lord.

'Really? =[ i think i'm too numb to feel that! X['
sent to Andoni.
'Aww thank you for letting me know..'
sent to Andoni.

:]

ic

i'm desiring to collect cameras,
filling my cabinets with classical cameras,
to digitals,
have a room full of photography;
portraits or landscape,
express my being through filled scene frames.
:]
but hey, let God's will prevail me.

it's not bad nor illegal to dream.
it's just a dream and hey wanna draw that down?
need pack of black pen and gel pen urgently!

you can't be called an artist when you done nothing.

sorry brotha,we aren't competing for a title or even labellings,
as long as we could put our mood and hands together.
no,wait ignore me. :]

the artist(s) are actually right,it feels nice to see you having a pile of artworks done.
self-satisfactory.
feels great.
ignore vices but get addict to art.
lame.

God is Infinity Great to give us
that kind of talent,
so lets use it for him.
reach out to people.
touch them.
express.
hope.
faith.
love..
it's one thing we could do as an artist.

Hopefully,i'm getting this soon :]
mom surprised me in a text that,
dad wants to get me one of these.
:]
sweetniblets.
I didn't ask for this but Lord,i thank you.
<3

WOW.
it's just breathe-taking,i don't know.
Gah i just wish it would rain forever.
:]

Wonders.

It happens everytime. -_-'' no doubt i'm sick of it. I could like throw up a dozen of bucket of pukers. HAHA.

Yes,it's about Parrot and Little Duckie. :] annoyance,the atmosphere is breathing. I don't really get the fact with this two. I mean both of them are so inlove with each other but yet one of them isn't at that stage like as the other,whose heart won't stop beating greater times than the normal,everytime Parrot looks at Little Duckie.

But i have great faith with the both of them. Those little cutie wudie animals :] sweetniblets.

So getting to my point,Little Duckie has mentioned that they won't be there for each other in times and yes it's truly true and the worst part is that truth hurts. Both of them are not in the same field,they are in academics yes,their last years of academics. Not that they're departing their education,i mean they both are in the higher academics not high school no more. So basically,they don't work together,they don't spend their time together due to schedules,it's a toughie for them.

I hope Parrot is doing fine in his part,but i got to see what lies in the heart of Little Duckie. I know that she doens't have that heart-beating yet that Parrot has for her,but deep down,deep deep down,inside in the depths of her soul lies something that she couldn't speak out,like it's forbidden to be spoken,even to say it. :\ weird,i know. Okay,the dealio,she is scared. Does Parrot know about this? Is he doing the same thing? Is he even really thinking about her from all his surroundings? Does he know his standing before the Lord? I'm not sure.

Little Duckie is,yes,scared,worried,concerned and even anxious about Parrot,i mean what's Parrot doing behind her back,yes,this is normal. She wouldn't stop thinking about him. As she said awhile ago, 'You are my balloon that keeps me smiling..' Parrot makes her smile everytime,she tends to forget who her friends is,even if they mocked her alot of time,she wouldn't care. Her focus was on that balloon that caught her entire attention. Thats how Parrot caught her to the net and if this never happen to her in a day,everything would just inject in. Like a virus.

When everything came out or even pop out surprisingly before her that made Little Duckie despise the companies,these anxious gang of wonders came pondering in Little Duckie's head which eventually effected her mood,HER MOOD. Her freaking self-mood. She would act up differently,she goes crazy or even go hyper to get the people's attention that she is just plain ol'herself. It even drags her present of mind out of the blue. She is praying at all means for the Lord to watch over Parrot for her cos Little Duckie has no powers to handle her care. Little Duckie even has a secret request to her Lord,to expose everything.

To help her be aware.

So basically,Little Duckie isn't in the zone of LOVE yet. It only comes when it's the right time. She isn't truly inlove with Parrot. It's a 50/50. That other 50 comes when God says 'it is time child,you may let it go,i'm just here writing the Love Story you've ever wanted..' :] ain't that sweet? So as she walks through her years with Parrot,she'll observe everything,not giving her all to him,although she couldn't resist it,cos Parrot is such a tempting guy. Parrot's eyes melts her to her knees and has that urge to grab him and eat him alive :]] HAHA.

So i'm guessing that Little Duckie wouldn't care if she got hurt by him if he ever did something wrong or even unacceptable to her. Cos her heart isn't affected. :]] Only half of it,God can heal it still. Well,i'm thinking she'll be hurt maybe a week or maybe 3 days after and then nothing. :]

This doesn't mean that something bad is about to happen to both of them,it's only those rough seas that keeps them stronger. :] I have that faith they are the will of God and there's no doubt they'll part ways,it's a waste. Plus,it's beautiful to see them together :]] like a fairytale thats never been told or even never been heard. HAHA.
But if the possibility strikes then thats how it's gonna end. :]] But still i wouldn't put that in mind since they are forever keeps of the Lord. Just that not that right time yet.

Those dreams they dreamnt and wishes they wished and plans they planned,they are getting it but God will prevail it,cos God has given them and preserving them the best among the rest,of what their minds are capable to think of. Thats how God writes the Love Story of His wonderful creations.

These things helps the bond stronger. The usuals,accepting each and everyone's fault and weaknesses. We're not perfect so don't expect anything :] These helps us grow. Plus not to worry,God is there to guide them. Is that those creepy crawlers are messing again with Little Duckie's abstraction brain x] HA.

God lead her,guide her,In Jesus Name.
Take those things off away from her,they have no right to remain in her mind.
For 'our mind is our battlefield..'
So Lord,take charge and fight those evil warlocks saucers away
and seal her with your blood.
In Jesus Name,Amen. :]]

Goodnight,readers.
God bless.

You are for me-Kari Jobe

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me that

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

<3

got to learn how to lead. :]
know and search or even research about being a Worship Leader.
:]
register that in mind,Leiz.

Read more of Psalms. :]]]]

I had an adventurous day today :] excitement was rushing in me just to stay in Mr.Donut[FIRST TIME IN MR.DONUT IN LACSON,IT'S SEEMS CLASSY.] to chill with Ryo,Mariz&Daryl while enjoying wifi and yet it was HOT. So we transferred to MacCafe and bought a 110 coffee blend [me and mariz],unfortunately no WIFI. So,we wasted a 110 bucks and not gaining anything but the pleasure of chocolate coffee. Then, we went to ROB to access in Wifi because surely they have one there,we bought and ate some chips and i drank a Zagu alone yet no wifi. So basically,i enjoyed my trip with Dood ink yet gain nothing with Wifi.

Oh-it was fun :]]]] i'm not being sarcastic.

Note to self:
ASK BEFORE ORDER!
BE WISE IN EVERY WAY!
GO TO CHURCH SO YOU WON'T SPEND ANYTHING~

Oh, had a funny experience.
Some two girls went to school and was talking with JP
and wants me as their model in this Clear Campaign,ooooh,unfortunately i rejected :]
ain't that fun? i was in shock tho but still,me no interesado.

10/08/09 <3

....btw i'm fine. :] thank you,Lord.

*continuation of last post*

Gah. Exhausted. -_-''

guess what? i'm feeling a really weird feeling. Like,um. @_@

Lord,it's happening again. GAH.

SUCCESSFUL MAIN AND YOUTH SERVICE!!
x]
there's actually alot to learn guys,seriously.
i could list them down for you :]
Time managing
-Youth WLT needs to act like what the WLT actually do in the main service..
Early arrival before Youth Service would start.
PERMANENT SCHEDULE!
-Must know when and when is practice and Service time!
PREPARATION!!!!
-Must know what will be next!! -_-''
for example: List of people standing at the pulpit!!
Programs!
Planning!!
FUTURE PLANNING!!!
List of Songs
New Songs.
Try colliding new songs to old songs!!
x[




...and i can't think of any more,yikes.

You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

[chorus]
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You’re the only God
Whose power none can contend
You’re the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God
Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that’s just the way it is

[chorus]

[bridge]
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That’s what You are ..

One of my top songs in Christ For the Nation <3

LEIZ TAN
is <3 with the girl version of 'You are God alone-Christ for the Nation'!!
Mygash it's so beautipooool x]]
Happy as the stars above,guys! xD feeling like doing some random things!
woootawoooot!
[finally posted..seconds ago...]

PARROT played the 'aisle song' to Little Duckie ;]
they both smiled as it rings to their ears.
WAH!
sooner or later folks,you will hear wedding bells.
[Know Leiz Vocabulary.]



..cos if you do know Leiz's Vocabulary,
you would understand what she is jotting down.
She won't give you a hint not even you'd beg for mercy.
period.
HAHAHA.

Problem: Missing Syndrome [MS]
Given: Parrot and Little Duckie
Solution: Patience!
[Drink it,Chemical Reaction will react after it meets with H20.]
Answer: Parrot misses Little Duckie too :'3


HAHA.

AMAZING EVENT HAS HAPPENED!
August 6,2009.
They collided yet damage was NIL.
-you could see the look on their faces,
they were indeed shocked,
as they part ways,
they laughed hysterically.

Parrot and Little Duckie's scenarios:]

THE MOMENT I TOOK THE TOWEL AND THROW IT AWAY.
after the flood came in,this is how i look like.
not even a single clue,i did.
He caught me right in.

But eventually it turned out fine..
it's my fault anyway.
XD

Leiz Tan will be awake until God knows when ;] sending letters to parrot at the moment :]] ♥

facebook screamings.
...i'm still waiting for a reply.

THE GAME HAS ENDED,PFFFT. :[
start over again next week.
but wouldn't this following days be enough?

Gah it's really hard to be the one leading the decisions -_-'' i'm seriously frustrated at the moment. Feels like i'm pressured by two things. I couldn't get my decisions straight due to the standing blocks infront of me. You know the feeling of your body getting the goosebumps. Thats how i feel at this very moment. My biggest known fear; deciding,make my brain work just to make a decision!

I'm sorry again,if i made this decision,i have no other choice but to cancel FAMDAY. There's always a next time,right?

i hope you understand dear.
it won't be as if tomorrow is the end.
awww. :'[

THE GAME IS ON,CHOI. :]]

This is how my dream rain would fall x]

Yes,we do this now.
check out my multiply or facebook for further information ;]
see who's on the block with DOOD INK.
now publishing collab-artworks each day.
:]]

....... in multiply X]

We were wet when we did the rally :]] HAHA.
Pictures will be posted soon.

tears just seem to fall..
Lord help us,me and my family.
pleasee..

otw to youth service ;]

oh my he is experiencing body aches,too much basketball -_-'' now he tell me!

Every time his moods or emotions gets really active,i felt like i don't know him at all; stranger in the night lights. It's like i just knew him,thinking what should i do next,killing my brain,wondering whats up? Or maybe i just had an amnesia of him. FREAK! Dude frankly speaking,don't continue to be like this,we seriously won't understand each other. It'll repeat like before. Do you think you would like it? I seriously don't think so man.So,STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING and get the hell with it.

i'm not mad or anything,i'm just annoyed by the fact that it seems like i can't do anything for you,like i'm just only a sideline to you. -_-'' i did my best to make you smile,pare.


Seriously,Whats up with you dude? I'm giving what you want,silence but i can't bear silence. :] So,sorry. Do you need help? My ears are wide open folks :D i pray you won't hesitate to pour it all out.

..i'm here :3

MY DEAREST FRIEND HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!
i am so definitely shocked :D
CONGRATS GIRLFRIEND!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
seriously,i couldn't stop smiling as i read your blog dear...
awwww,it's sweet.
I'm happy for you..really really am! WAH!
XD

thanks to photobucket.

'O my Strength, I sing Praise to you; You, O God, are my fortress, my loving God'
-Psalms 59:17
actually,it's the whole chapter but this is good :D

Today is like the best feeling i've ever had as i had my 3 hours of dwelling with the Lord. :]] Gosh,this relieves me. This seriously is. As i cried non-stop,i kept tearing up. The tap of my water eyes couldn't close XD But seriously as i poured out every bit that was bugging my heart,there it was i found it ALL :] It's between me and the Lord. During that,my aunt told me to worship God and do less talking. She is right. I knew already that God knows whats inside of me,i just need to speak it out so i may know,cos in my situation,i'm lost man.

But now found again in him.. :] The song that i sang was so wonderful,Gah. Bsta i'm uber JOYFUL at the moment,couldn't explain my feeling. Indeed God is good in our lives. He is always there when we need him. Every black cloud there is a Rainbow :] Sis.G mentioned this last night during prayer meeting.

I finally realized my wrong-doings. I've been a hypocrite ever since,as you know i LOVE rainbows right like i adore them dearly,i could kill myself if i see one but i realized that i've forgotten what it actually meant. It's not about the colours! It's God's promises :D i've forgotten God's promises never fails! So there goes my bright and shinny days to come ;]] i've learned my lesson. It's not the colour but God's promises :D

'You showed me light,you've opened my eyes
and I give you my Praise and i give you my ALL!'
-Hillsong:You Deserve.

So yeah my life goes on as i walk with Him once more.
mood: HEAVEN.

'I am seeking more of something beyond the capacity of her eyes. :3
God,you know it.
This voices in me is finding it's way out,
please lead them the way,let it not linger in me cos i bear it not. '
-i'm planning on posting it on FaceBook but nah,why bother.

Anyway,i'm still up and still trying to figure out myself. During the prayer meeting [btw it was successful..but yet.],i felt like i'm losing my senses. Yes,here i go as i exaggerate my feelings. Gah,this is not suppose to happen to me,i'm NEVER like this. What is up with this world? Am i losing a puzzle here,was i not there when the earth turned? @_@ gah,killing me killing me so softly.

LORD HELP ME!!!

I am seriously serious. Somethings taking over me,it's a blur. My vision and even my brain can't distinguish what is it. Maybeh i need a time with the Lord to sort this things out. Or maybeh i just need to think. Right? Gah,i feel like crying.

Christ For the Nation is calming my nerve. Gah beautiful songs. Feel like the Holy Spirit is moving around me. I could imagine myself near the shores listening to musical and Spiritual songs while having contact with the Lord- this is what i want to do.

I need the intervention of Christ.
PRESERVE ME FATHER.

tummy ache-too much bagoong @_@

Definitely right,something is well bugging me. I could feel my self-confidence and self-esteem just disintegrated. Everytime my friend kept calling me 'you suck!' i'm starting to feel that i do really suck,it's a stupid thing that it manifested in me -_-'' i'm losing my senses here people. Gah,now it's bringing back memories. I feel really um,useless. No,not the right word. Um..i feel less an average person.

i tend to be quiet,not really me. Or? am i really that noisy that your ear couldn't stand the annoyance i make. :[ Gah,i'm begging the monster not to grow in me,i beg you too go away bucko. Just go,you got no room here. The door is right there?? UGH. What the heck man,what the heck am i really doing? I can't make my head straight.

What is this Lord?
I do really need a time for myself,a peace that could comfort me.
Just you and me on the shores :'[ desperation kills.

'Let me hear them winds and those silent whispers as i close my eyes and reach you.
Take me and never let me go..
let me wander with you and not mind below.
Forces are taking me down,but you carry me like a feather..
Lord,walk with me as i disappear in thy hands..'
-23.07.09

GOODNIGHT TODS.

something is definitely bugging me :\
oh,bugger.
this ain't right,Lord.

Sometimes i'm asking myself as i look through those wonderful God-given eyes that, is this for real? I know it is but i noticed that there's this something,a hidden creature..*okay,this is not an effect of the LOTR okay?* a creature trying to let it's voice out as i gaze those eyes staring at me deeply with emotions. I find myself really lost in reality.

It's bugging me,though,i don't have the point yet to jot this down :[ i'm observing still.

Lord,once again,i need your help to find that inner wonder in me :[
please.
Goodnight guys,i need to rest my mind :[[

no freaking eclipse :[
sir you've got explaining to do.

'Tomorrow as we deal it together,

i hope you would be able to see how this affects everything.
Not to me but to you.
No doubt you'll lose your sanity.
I've been there and done that,i managed everything,and see nothing last long.
It's an event that would simply pass by,it tests you.
One thing,make every decision wisely.
very wisely.'

not a good goodnight eyh?
HA!
Goodnight and GodBless ;]]

i can't recieve any text :[
oh no Elijah just died in the movie!!
wait,he is alive x]] HAHA.
He has the defense armor that is light as a feather
and stronger as the dragon scales x]] HAHA.

beep..beep....beepbeep.

ECLIPSE TOMORROW!
9.00 a.m
Be aware of the beauty of Nature ;]]
you could kiss your beloved as you witness it :3

Btw,my sir mentioned it to us so if it doesn't happen,
then consider it that the weather wasn't the right thing.
Depends on the weather ;]]
Pray for the perfect weather so you could encounter this event :]]
HEHE.
excited naku!!!!!!!

Hey bloggers ;] i just got home from school,i didn't have the mood to stay in school till seven. Ripples office is still close so what the heck might as well go home and watch Lord Of the Rings 2 :]] and *ooooppppsss something happened* hehe. Anyway,thank God we're done with our printing design,last thing we would be doing is to print them on coco cloth :] Now i'll be staying up late due to my Paper Quiling project :]] i'm almost done,ALMOST.

Right now as i do my blog,i'm watcging Lord Of the Rings 2! XD

'Little Duckie went to Parrot and
they spent their hour together watching Mr.Bean.'
as they laugh hysterically,it's hard to distunguish which laugh was the weirdest.
After that,
'Parrot gave Little Duckie a smooch in the highways!'
Little Duckie gave a mere slap and Parrot gave her another one.
BaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!

Good'am ya'll X] Blessed another mondayyyyyyyyyy!!!
slept at 1a.m,woke up at 7.30a.m.
HAHA.

need coffee 0_0

It came ringing in my head,creating statics through my brain,those sums of questions as he pours it all to me. Although it wasn't that much yet it got me thinking,continuously. NON-STOP. My brain starts being like a type-writer,typing possible answers and possible right answers.

I can't seem to get my head straight. It really hit me rock-bottom. As i start typing here in my public diary to express my inner thoughts,i couldn't picture myself being in that situation,it's like it would still be very far for me to reach. Like really,really,really infinity far. 0_0 i feel numb,again.

Okay,let me get this thing straight,if ever i would be departing my way here in my beloved country,unstated time,i think i think i might answer the question. But i doubt that we would be leaving in near time. I doubt it really. I could sense that it would take ages for us to fly our wings out. Anyway,reality check,i'll be encountering and be confronting this,i should get my brain cells working,cos this isn't a joke. *Ouch i bit my lip..wow there's a cut*

Great,the weirdest question surprisingly popped out,am i scared? Scared to be in that scene. =[ okay,i'm a little bit insecure here,seriously. Now i could predict what my response would be,that is in a state of my uneasiness. I get the jitters. So i think it's true i am scared to get in. Scared to take the risk. But i don't really want that little Precious parrot of mine to leave with unreasonable answer,gone or anything just like that. I just don't really want them to perish just like that. Just a blink of an eye,vanished.

It would be extremely useless. A distress to bear. 0_0 i feel detachable. *sigh* This anxiety is taking over me. Oh. Sweetniblets.

It seems like it was just November 18 :'] Gah. It's been 9 months of waiting. HA! 'Where is the love? To keep me waiting in agony?'-Parrot. He has a point. I just realized that it's been that certain time and yeah it definitely hurt in his part. Gah! 9 months! Can you freaking believe that patience? 0_0 oh the horror.

so it's scary.

I can't think of anything to let go of my mind at the moment. I do believe that God will speak to me regarding this. I need the right timing and the right moment,which is the same? HAHA. A moment with God would do fine,i need guidance. Walk with me Lord.

Great,talk by coldplay is playing again,well i actually played it. HEHE. It speaks of talk and future :\ bummer.

I feel definitely lost and incomplete,like puzzle that i can't find the missing piece. Lord fill me in. :']

i just need s.p.a.c.e to think.
re-think and re-think all over again.
think again.
over.
over.
never-ending.







.........accompany me to space? :3

pretty messed up.

sorry wala ko magawa. :]] happy lang ako.

'Parrot is sitting next to Little Duckie ;]'
HA!
guess what he said....

'*scoff* gkdodiwnfk lsoaijhgjecnvsoeijt dogjdoijfeuohb'
censored.

God moves x3

As time takes over,i felt like my throat is about to burst as we sang the victorious scene at the Youth Service :] mygash. It was amazing feeling as me and tin and jo sang center stage :D with the other members,it was team work,we worked as one ;]] thank God for the Holy Spirit that guide us and gave us that energy that we've always wanted for months,it was an amazing feeling that we had that revival XD

We prefer NOW alot of worship leader to join in,like for example if you are the only one to lead,the whole burden is right on your shoulder,it's like you putting up the weight,like you're working at the construction site? @_@ not really a good feeling,you could feel the word,pressure. PRESSURE. We,worship leader suffered that agony when we were given the task. It's really not easy to become a worship leader,especially when you are in one of God's ministry. Phew. But not to worry,the Holy Spirit will guide you. :]]

But SERIOUSLY speaking xD the force of the gravity pulls you downward,like it's dragging you to a place where you don't want to go. HA! But hey,i don't think you would be able to feel this when you are used to it,right? =D It's a matter of practice and i think so that it's NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. YAP! Those wiggled monsters crawling up behind your back,trying to take your self-esteem down from putting words,NEGATIVE words in your head. :]]

We've been there and we've done that. So it's basically a daily feeling :] God is always there to comfort you ;] so i say to you my dear readers,being in this Worship Ministry,it's a privelage ;] though it could make you go crazy but at the end the best feeling you could ever feel is that you did your best and you did it for God's glory ;]]

As we experienced this new formation,wow,feels like hillsong. :]] We take turns in singing,now we know,gah,it's hard to express my feelings towards this on what happened awhile ago ;]] Basta,we almost lost our voice ;] Arren took over after our voice turned rusty brown x]] HAHA.


















































































































Best of blessings to us ;]]
and we are definitely gonna shout His name through out the earth ;]
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!

People are calling me FAT especially the three-deths.
:[[[[
i hope anorexia comes.

like when i'm hungry,i can't eat.
i had to drink this,herbal shake.
pffft.
KILL ME,SOFTLY.

Mark just educated me in Songs of Songs,well lets not say educate,lets say,i learned something from him. same thing. :]] sweetniblets. Songs of Songs in the bible is regarding about Love. Lover. Beloved. Friends. ;] seriously. As i read through,my gash,it's a sweet expression :] it's like oooooooh-it's definitely for couples. EXCLUSIVE FOR COUPLES. There's a story behind it. I wish for you to read it,you'll get inspired. Nice going on mark :D

'i sleep but my heart is awake..It is the voice of my beloved that knocketh saying,open to me my sister,my love, my dove,my undefiled...'
Songs of Songs 5:2

read it :] rawr.

Little Duckie went to Parrot's school and saw Parrot with his green uniform :]]
..for the first time.
Parrot was hot in green :]]

Little Duck and Parrot had an hour bond :]
although it was raining and it was freezing cold,
both of them shared warmth as they hold wings together.

it was a rainy afternoon :]






























































































night sweeties,God bless :]

Weeeeeee. :]] one word HAPPY another one JOYFUL x]
due to the reconciliation of the both of us :]
God made a way.

After youth service was done,everything went smoothly sailed x] although it seems like i wanna melt from the unexpected p&w. My heart continue to subside in me,cos it went all wrong. Forgive for not focusing Lord. It is said that i have to deal unfinished business. and we did :]

Tho emotional breakage came but still it went where it wanted to go ;] bsta to God be all the Glory. Details are exclusive to the both of us and God :] Sorry. Next time be alert ;] HA!

Bsta happy ako ngaun that we both are back again :]
i ended up with a smile and it was awkward since people were starring x]

Little Duckie just wanted to hold Parrot forever in Little Duck's wings.
;]

God thank you :]

every Song reminds me of him when a dude sings after the girl. :[

I seriously want to bang something. I felt the heaviness again in my heart. Like emotions taking over. I wiped away a tear,i just couldn't let go of my emotions and last night i was numb. BEYOND NUMB. Like a needle just poke and pierced through my brain or something and just left it there to rust. x[ I felt nothing and now my emotion is break it's bubble. I could feel the pain.

Every minute,seconds expecting a '1 new message' at my screen that it would be his but unfortunately pop-up promo came instead. It hurts when you expect something and it wouldn't showed up,it's like you putting a shovel up your head. not a single text message. Now i'm listening to coldplay-talk. Yes that word is stirring up my adrenaline just to talk to him and clear everything. It's 1.30pm and i'm waiting for the point to strike its time ;[ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. :'[ i really wanna burst into tears.

Is it really my fault that i make this all go wrong? i'm sorry. again. I just freaking want to talk to you. I just evaluated everything that this is just a misunderstanding. I'm not finish yet in my part and maybe thats why this went jumpy and he thinks thats the final :[ i've got a lot to explain. He never response any of my text message regarding this issue.

He is just q u i e t. [Love Song by Jason Morant playing]

And reminiscing everything we've been through,this just ain't right. Communication is the best key-Andoni. Yes this is what i need. And i have to do it myself again. Gah.

Stupid Act:
.Staring at him walking down,playing with the kid and he just winked.
.Watching him coming foward expecting something spark would happen but nothing.
.'Daw anak mo..' i said and he just left.
.Watched him walk away and turned to his left.
.Short messages is what i recieved.

Am i a bad person really? Being a total numb of another individuals emotion? 0_0 i'm not this. I care for this people around me but why am i not successful in this? With this dude. Just this dude. Am i not giving enough effort already? :[ i just wish a monster would eat me up dearly. Having no mercy. No mercy at all.

Gah tears take over me :[[[[[[[[ i couldn't explain myself verbally here. i just need to stop :[

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

my brain is printing this note.

weijngosignragaoesifmkdasspodejrmwoptjvonmjipjmvlknmzlknalr

my heart is beating these letters.

i'm malfunctioning.

guide me as i look in your eyes..

As i wait,
and wait for centuries,
i could feel my heart wrenching,
as he look at me differently,again.
i could feel my tears dripping,
but it's dry.
i could feel my body shaking,
yet still i won't buzz.
my mind isn't taking over me,
it's his image poking my brain.
together with the force of my shoulder,
and my lungs,
i felt like i'm in a washing machine.
..spinning,wondering,
'is it my fault?'.


.....i'm deeply sorry.

i think this is just a misunderstanding.

still bugging in my head.
Lord,i hope he would guard his heart......

finally,
i got myself REGISTERED.
08.07.2009.
have you done yours? :]

recap.checklist.
T h i n g s need to be d o n e:
♠Get certification-DONE
♠REGISTER-DONE
♠Withdraw-DONE
♠LBC LBC LBC!-DONE
♠REGISTER-DONE
♠Interview with Sidewalk stalls..-PLANNING
[Gotta plan with herbert!]
♠DRINK MORE MED!-TRYING
♠LOOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!-TRYING
♠study smart!-TRYING
♠ASK FORGIVENESS FROM THE LORD!!-ON GOING!
♠ignore parrot whining!-ON GOING!
♠gotta have my LAPTOP fixed!-TRYING
♠MEETINGS WITH RIPPLES STAFF!!-ON GOING!
gotta ask more info with Gerome! x[
♠MAKE UP WITH MY SHORTCOMINGS WITH DA LORD!!!!-ON GOING!
♠ SAVE MONEY! STOP SHOVING FOOD IN MY MOUTH! -TRYING
♠ REGISTER THIS THURSDAY OR FRIDAY ASAP!!!!!!
register register register register register register!!!!!!
-DONEEE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
♠ study ceramics and humanities x]
-JUST HUMANITIES!!
♠INDUSTRIAL DESIGN PLATE ONE!!!!
- brain half working!

NEED TO WAKE UP EARLY!